What the deuce!!???

John speaks for a second time...

The Christmas Elf made a stop at our house and brought some really cheap toys that broke in under a minute.

We set up our tree the day after Thanksgiving (and Brock started potty training). The empty tree box was left upright in the corner of the room overnight while we finished all our decorating.  During this time the boys found a cheap way to entertain themselves by treating the box as a door to a whole new world. 

Apparently one of the worlds that Brock was visiting had a toilet just inside the portal.  Yes, he went in, shut the door, and did work.  (Let it be known ten minutes prior to this discovery Christy felt a disturbance in the force and said to me "I bet Brock is in there going to the bathroom." Another example of what can happen when you don't listen to the Spirit.)

Surprising to me he didn't just do work in his pants.  He skipped Step 2 and 4 of his potty training tutorial:

Step 1- recognizing the urge to go
Step 2- find a potty
Step 3- drop your pants and take care of business
Step 4- Clean house

To my amazement he was able to drop anchor without peeing at the same time.

After defecating on the inside of the box he walked around the downstairs and flipped a few loose nuggets off of his feet.  Of course I was able to locate these with the bottom of my foot while  Christy changed his clothes and washed him up.  I was busy cutting the bottom panel out of the tree box (I couldn't just toss it.  A tree box isn't easy to replace). 

With a new set of Diego undies and clean shorts Brock and Austin went out back to play and Brock immediately took care of his pee that he was able to tuck aside while cutting his prior deuce.

Christy changed him again and I hosed off the patio.

Having burned up all of our patience I put Brock in a diaper and I sent him to nap time a litte earlier than normal so we could regroup.

After an hour I went upstairs to find Brock in the middle of his room buck naked playing with his toys.  Before he turned around I could see that he had a new butt stain.  "What the #@%*??!!!"  The first thing I tried to do was locate the main product but there was nothing to be found.  I looked everywhere and the only thing that can think of is that he "sharted".  At this point I told Christy I was willing to pay somebody a couple thou to potty train this monkey.

Having washed my hands of the situation I moved on to Wes who also needed his diaper changed.  This little guy must have felt like he was losing some recent attention to his older bro because when I took off his diaper he whizzed off the table, down my calf and onto my foot.

You can't make this @#$% up!

I quit...

*Sorry no pics. Christy wouldn't let me.